Let’s Discuss...Mayonnaise

Sure! One of my goals for the New Year is to "take things less seriously."

I can hardly imagine a more enjoyable topic than chatting about that often misunderstood condiment, which tends to be one of the first items discarded when people embark on their post-holiday dieting journey.

Indeed, I'm referring to mayonnaise.

You either adore it or despise it.

Allow me to share some context. I have a deep appreciation for condiments in all their varieties. Mustard is a particular favorite of mine, whether it's Dijon, brown, spicy, yellow, or even infused with horseradish. I'm also a fan of aioli, various salad dressings, olive oil, ketchup, and just about any other condiment you can think of.

I have a reputation for enjoying a sandwich that's solely comprised of condiments. To me, the true essence of a sandwich lies in the toppings. The meat, cheese, lettuce, and tomato serve merely as vessels to carry the delightful flavors of the condiments.

I have a friend who won’t put any condiments on his sandwiches at all. To me, that feels like taking the frosting off a cupcake.

Mayonnaise reigns supreme among condiments. You might have a different opinion, but I have solid arguments to back up my claim.

Allow me to clarify.

I discovered mayonnaise quite late in my life. My mom often mentioned that we were using mayonnaise in our tuna salad, but I later realized that she was actually using Miracle Whip instead.

I discovered that Miracle Whip is not the same as mayonnaise. The label on the Miracle Whip jar explicitly says it is "dressing." While I'm uncertain about the exact definition of "dressing," it is clear that it isn't simply mayonnaise.

My mother would mix Miracle Whip into tuna, potato salad, egg salad, and macaroni salad, confidently referring to it as "mayonnaise." (Although we pronounced it "mannays" and never used the term "mayo").

I had faith in her.

When I was around 8 years old, I went over to my friend Colette Ogle's house for lunch. Her mom prepared tuna sandwiches for us. The moment I took a bite, I felt like my entire world had changed. What was this incredible flavor? It was by far the tastiest tuna sandwich I had ever tasted, and I made sure to let Mrs. Ogle know just how much I loved it.

I returned home and shared my experience with my mom. I told her, "Mom, you need to find out from Mrs. Ogle what ingredients she uses in her tuna. It was absolutely amazing!"

My mom inquired with Mrs. Ogle, who explained that it was merely tuna mixed with mayonnaise. How could that possibly be? If that were the case, it should have tasted exactly like my mom's tuna (disregarding the differences in tuna brands and whether it was packed in oil or water).

The next time I visited Colette's home, I requested Mrs. Ogle to show me the jar of mayonnaise.

What was this? It appeared completely different. I had been misled my entire existence!

As I returned home, the realization hit me that my mother had concealed the truth from me all those years. I felt a deep sense of embarrassment.

What was going through her mind? Miracle Whip is sweet, lower in calories, and was cheaper back in the day. But none of these points registered with an eight-year-old girl. I felt tricked. And I turned into a passionate supporter.

Time passed, and mayonnaise turned into a regular item in my home. As a broke college student, my kitchen was usually stocked with just condiments and perhaps a hot dog bun. I distinctly recall having mayo and mustard on a bun for dinner on multiple occasions.

Before long, I discovered a community of fellow mayonnaise enthusiasts. One memorable encounter was with a girl who customized her Burger King Whoppers by requesting extra mayo, only to top it off with a minimum of six additional packets. Some might say she crossed the line, but who am I to criticize?

Then there is the ongoing debate about which mayonnaise is best – Best Foods or Hellman's? Some people add Duke's to that equation. I do not. Duke's is cousin to the other two. But that is another issue.

Conversely, my husband had never experienced mayonnaise before we crossed paths. Growing up in a Jewish family, mayonnaise was seen as a culturally significant food. No reputable Jewish deli would dare to serve mayonnaise as a topping. Mustard was the go-to choice, but mayo was simply off the table.

I found it quite confusing. Wasn't there mayonnaise in their egg salad and tuna salad? It seemed to be an unspoken topic among everyone.

My husband may not be a huge fan, but he definitely prefers it over Miracle Whip, so it all balances out.

Nowadays, many individuals believe that sour cream or Greek yogurt can be used as alternatives to mayonnaise. However, this is not the case.

You may start to acclimate to them and convince yourself they have a similar flavor, but believe me, the moment you experience authentic mayonnaise again, there’s no turning back. It’s comparable to choosing frozen yogurt over ice cream. You can insist that frozen yogurt is just as good, or even superior to ice cream, as much as you like. However, once you indulge in ice cream again, it becomes obvious that it’s an entirely different experience.

Go ahead and slather on that mayo, and be sure to reject any fakes!